I know people imagine Dumbledore laughing in his office about all the letters that get sent to Harry and all. But I think it was really Professor McGonagall. I think it’s infinitely more hilarious to consider her sending owl after owl to 4 Privet Drive, only to appear as a cat to watch in amusement.
DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told
IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”
what about a book of all the lies people have told you
Oh how the tables have tabled
Tables have tabled
walking into the wrong class
Want want want 😍😍😍😍
isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?
Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets?
I laughed so fucking hard
Why is it such a hard concept to grasp that cows milk is for baby cows and not humans
why is it such a hard concept to grasp that soy milk is for baby soybeans and not humans
why is it such a hard concept to grasp that trix are for kids and not rabbits
wtf im in mutuals with so many cuties. so many rad folks. i like you guys a lot
my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.
My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.
this is my favorite post on tumblr currently